The Constantly Growing List of Funny Christian Jokes (with pictures!)

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Opening with one or a small set of funny Christian jokes is a great way to lighten the mood and get people laughing. Safe, clean and funny Christian jokes can be used in a wide variety of situations such as: comedic relief in a message, keeping a youth group entertained on a long bus ride, bringing everyone to attention at the start of a service, serving as an icebreaker when meeting new people at a Christian retreat or camp meeting or even bringing down barriers that we may create for ourselves at other church social events.

funny christian jokes

This post was recently updated to include a total of 43 of the best Christian jokes!

If you’re like me, you love a good joke and since short (one-liner), funny Christian jokes are kind of hard to come by, we’ve started a new list of funny Christian jokes for you to use at your next retreat, camp or any other Christian event. This post is intended to be a constantly growing list of the best Christian jokes and updated frequently.

All of the funny Christian jokes below are easily shareable too!

Be sure to hover over any image to easily share your favorites on your preferred social network. Also, feel free to copy any joke themed image into your speaking presentations for a quick laugh.

what did the pastor say to the man with Twitter addiction

What did the pastor say to a man with Twitter addiction? -Sorry, I don’t follow you.

why didnt they play cards on the ark

Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark? -Because Noah was always standing on the deck.

who do mice pray to

Who do mice pray to? Cheesus!

why didnt noah ever go fishing

Why didn’t Noah ever go fishing? -Because he only had two worms.

what time of day was adam created

What time of the day was Adam created? Just a little before Eve

what kind of man was boaz before ruth

What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth? Absolutely Ruthless

why did the unemplpyed man enjoy the bible

Why did the unemployed man get excited while reading his Bible? -He thought he saw a job.

why couldnt jonah trust the ocean

Why couldn’t Jonah trust the ocean? -He just knew there was something fishy about it.

why are atoms catholic

Why are atoms catholic? Because they have mass.

why amen and not awoman

Why do they say “Amen” at the end of a prayer instead of “Awomen”? Same reason we sing Hymns instead of Hers.

who was the fastest runner

Who was the fastest runner in the race? Adam, he was the first in the human race

where is solomons temple

Where was Solomon’s temple located? On the side of head.

whats so funny about forbidden fruits

What’s so funny about forbidden fruits? They create many jams.

what kind of car does jesus drive

What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler

what do we get from ducks

On the Ark, Noah probably got milf from the cows. What did he get from the ducks? Quakers

what did adam never have

What do we have that Adam never had? Ancestors

the lord didnt create anything without purpose

The good Lord didn’t create anything without a purpose. Mosquitoes come close, though.

smartest man in the bible

Who was the smartest man in the Bible? Abraham, he knew a Lot.

pastors in germany called

What do they call pastors in Germany? German Shepherds

noah punish chickens

Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark? They were using fowl language.

mary had a little lamb joke

If Mary is the mother of Jesus, and Jesus is the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a giggle lamb?

locksmith character in the bible

Which Bible character is a locksmith? Zaccheus

how long did cain hate his broter

How long did Cain hate his brother? As long as he was Abel

how does moses make his coffee

How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it

how do you make holy water

How do you make Holy Water? You take some regular water and boil the devil out of it.

how do angels say hello

How do groups of angels greet each other? Halo, Halo, Halo!

greatest investor in bible

Who was the greatest investor in the Bible? Noah, he was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

greatest babysitter in bible

Who was the great baby sitter mentioned in the Bible? David, he rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

first tennis player in bible

Who was the first tennis player in the Bible? Joseph because he served in pharaoh’s court.

donkeys christmas muletide greetings

What do donkeys send out near Christmas? Mule-tide greetings!

does god love everyone

Does God love everyone? Yes, but he prefers “fruits of the spirit” to “religious nuts!”

did eve ever date adam

Did eve ever have a date with Adam? Nope, just an apple.

cross jehovah witness with unitarian

What do you get if you cross a Jehovah’s Witness and a Unitarian? Someone who goes around knocking on doors for no apparent reason.

cars in jesus time

Did you know they had cars in Jesus’ time? Yup, the Bible says the disciples were all in one Accord.

call service for atheists

Did you hear about the 1-800 service they have for atheists now? You dial the number and it rings and rings but nobody answers.

why did god create man before woman

Why did God create man before woman? Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it.

bibles worst lawbreaker

Which Servan of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible? Moses, he broke all 10 commandments at once!

bible character with no parents

Which Bible character had no parents? Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1)

best way to study the bible

What’s the best way to study the Bible? You Luke into it.

best comedian in the bible

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible? Samson, he brought the house down.

best business woman in the bible

Who was the best business woman in the Bible? Pharaoh’s daughter, she went down to the Bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.

adam getting kicked out of eden

What excuse did Adam give his children about why he no longer lived in Eden? Your mother ate us out of house and home!

adam and even christmas joke

What did Adam say the day before Christmas? It’s Christmas, Eve!

Special thanks to Refreshing Mountain for making this article possible.